Death, will power

Take a deep breath and hold it.

Have the thought that you will never stop holding your breath.

Be really determined to hold your breath forever. Really get into it. This is it, finally, you’re going to show your body who’s boss.

Be really determined to explore the extent to which you can take this.

Watch as finally, no matter what you are thinking, no matter how much you struggle with your intent to control your breathing, “someone else”-the one who really controls your breathing-steps in and puts a stop to the silliness.

Watch and take notes as your resolve is, within seconds, quickly eroded.

Watch as, even though no actual physical pain is felt, you arrive at a point where it is as if you are being tortured.

Watch as an emotion, desperation, is manufactured from “somewhere” to change your intent.

Ask yourself,Who stopped holding my breath? Why do I think it is “me” when “I” wanted to stop my breathing?

What is the nature of “will power” and its conscious use? Why can a physical need so effortlessly contact, change, manipulate, erase or do whatever it needs to do to change my intents? Why can’t “I” reach that “deeply” into my will?

Why do I insist that “I” am the one who makes the decision to begin to breathe again?

What would the payoff be if I could control my breathing so much that I could actually go unconscious by holding my breath? What part of my life would benefit from such “will power?”

What is this hold that life has on me? Why do I cling to it so? What does this exercise reveal to me about my “actual beliefs” when compared to my “philosophical beliefs?” Why am I afraid to die?

Do I need to strengthen my beliefs, or do I need to find certainty about whether or not there is an immortal aspect of what I call me? Which would be a better achievement?

When it comes to spirituality what is better: believing or knowing?