Intermediated Mitigation Of Veneer Isotelepathy By Itchytoowamees Pancultural Psychicorporeal Transformationalism

Read the below strange report from an alternate universe.

This topic has been such a media darling lately that frankly, I’ve had it. Isotelepathy this, rotting flesh that-I say let’s drop it. By now, we all could get Phd’s in Psychicorporealtransformationalism. So, here and now, is the last word on it that you’ll hear from me. I’m going to lay it all out one final time, and that’s it!

Even on the very day that dirt was invented, a line or two scratched in it could represent anything. Oh, to have been there thousands of years ago to see it done for the first time in that prehomo moment, when Harry Nowashamogli watched Loama Itchytoowamee’s fingernail furrow the ground a few strokes to indicate just how to get to the annual intertribal mastodon picnic site. Did Mr. Nowashamogli dance in transported delight at being the first ever to be symbolically told where to go? (Ah, the sweetness of unrequited historical wondering!)

Who among us is not now utterly familiar with every nuance of the Dead Swamp Clay Shards on which we have the precious record of Ms. Itchytoowamee’s mind reformation formula? Who doesn’t recognize the Dead Mastodon symbol now fad-plastered on every retail product like its predecessor, the Smiley Face? It seems unbelievable-when even small children can recite The Litany of Onemindedness-that just a few years ago not a single reference to Onemindedness was being made anywhere except in obscure cult publications. Who knew? Yet, within months of Ms. Itchytoowamee’s burial chamber being opened, the world wide pyschocultural transformation was virtually complete.

Okay, forgive my boring history lesson. We all know now after Mr. Nowashamogli ran off to the picnic, Ms. Itchytoowamee immediately recorded the now famous Shard Symbols that prove that the basis of symbolism is Onemindedness. We know that her explication was so clear that no modern human nervous system could help but be instantly transformed by even an incidental exposure to it.

It’s quite accepted now that Ms. Itchytoowamee did know the magnitude of the event. We are also sure that she knew her discovery would require a posttech, media exhausted, Beavis-class world like ours to take hold. She knew that her Personal Enlightenment Formula needed rough edged personalities (like ours were pre-Shards) to find psychic purchase.

From the moment of the first viewings of her Shards by Professor Yogijihosaphat to the latest person being shown them tomorrow during some deep jungle lost tribe’s blessed transegomografacational rite, her invention’s fecundity is absolute. To date, every human being shown the Shards has immediately had the veil of separateness lifted in that universal wave of mother’s hug sweetness in which we are all immersed. What poignancy did Ms. Itchytoowamee feel knowing that only she-for millennia to come-would know the power of her simple scratches in clay?

And the millennia passed. Histories upon histories of isoego conflict gradually formed an exact environment that could support the creation of modern humanity’s psychophysiological readiness. Were we ready or were we ready?

Blessedly that is the past. Let’s look at the profundity of Ms. Itchytoowamee’s Omniego discovery that we are all sharing One Mind. We all have this ability to make abstract designs bend into meaningfulness solely because only One Mind is shared by all. As an almost rhetorical endeavor, I have created the set of small designs you see above beneath Ms. Itchytoowamee’s First Symbol. After they were created, I then “named” them with the first word that each “Re-Minded” me of. As an example only-certainly not as a lesson-let me list the words and let you “guess” (ha ha) which of the designs below “deserve” which names. The names are

Vice, Maze, CB, Pyramid, Window, Tunnel, Shotgun, Clover, Tubecross, Squaircle, Trellis, Bart, Phonehead, Breakfast, Aid, Tar, Boxes, Checkers

These designs and names are in no particular order.

Of course, anyone who has been exposed to Ms. Itchytoowamee’s Shards immediately knows which names “belong” to which designs. Before Shards (B.S.), only highly evolved souls could quickly sort out which name “goes with” which design, but even a common B.S. person back then could eventually solve this naming game, because the veneer of their B.S. isolated egos could be pierced enough for symbols to have universal interpretations without pre-learning an agreed upon response (hence the use of their international road signs.) Of course, B.S. cultures “ascribed” meanings to words and other symbols and “learning” was the universally adopted method for achieving this Lesser State of Onemindedness-commonly called “an education” back then.

Now at last the true destiny of humanity can be engendered. Without the obfuscations of separateness, all of us share the delight of knowing without doubt that the One Mind within each of us is the Grand Interpreter of all experiencing-be it a cloud, a baby’s hand, a mote of dust in an afternoon’s sunbeam, or a spider in one’s hair. The One Mind translates all symbols, and every perception is symbolic and interpretable.

As Ms. Itchytoowamee discovered, a few lines can symbolize a great mass of stinking rotten mastodon flesh and bones, because all of us are directly in touch with an incredible, infinitely flexible “meaning machine,” the One Mind of all. A few lines that magically become a dead mastodon are not magic at all. The lines have almost nothing in common with that which they symbolize. But the One Mind sees enough there to which meaning can be attached. However, the lines are not intrinsically mastodonish. The One Mind decides what meaning to give any symbol and has absolute freedom.

Similarly, being Sharded, everyone knows that everything we cherish and hate is only a matter of interpretation. Having fully learned this lesson, and having surrendered to the One Mind, peace of mind and absolute freedom to mean has been granted to us. At last, the world is as we wish it to be, because we now know it always has been. The choice has always been ours. Imagine the difficult interpretation efforts that this very simple essay would have required of a B.S. type, instead of being effortlessly seen for what it truly is, a symbolic word dance reverberating and celebrating that ecstasy of infinite symbol fluidity that Ms. Itchytoowamee first knew.

Ask yourself,Is there really any basis for this odd concept? Do I share in Onemindedness?

Am I agreeing with others about what symbols mean because I was taught that they did or because I intuitively knew the meanings at some deep level?

Would I really want a world in which everyone knew EXACTLY what I meant? Is there a downside to this?

Would I miss being “allowed” to interpret the meaning of things and words and having “my own” special meanings?

Am I really “getting off” on being, in a fairly strong way, the “God of Meaning” for my life? Is this a freedom I should be appreciating more?

Just how much AM I actually “adding to” my daily life that is beyond the “content” of life? Just how much am I projecting inner values for outer events and things that “just aren’t there?”

Just how much AM I actually “adding to” my inner thoughts’ values that is beyond their meanings? How much more do I “pump them up” when in actuality they start out as merely “faintly meaning?” Do I indulge in making thoughts far more important than they actually are? What is the reason for this if I do do this? What have I got invested in that process that requires that I “make a big deal” out of thoughts?

If I could see thoughts in exactly the same way that I now see a sensation-message from my skin that prompts me to scratch it, how much of my day WOULD I spend attenuating to thinking? How much of it would I, like hardly noticed sensations of my skin being brushed by my clothing, simply ignore?

Am I a thoughtoholic?