Loving

Try to remember the most loving thought you had in the last five minutes.

Then work your way back in time over the last week, and see how many incidents you can recall that were in some way easily identifiable as “loving.” Make a list, with enough details included, so that you can easily remember these moments again in the future should you reread the list.

Try to get up to at least twenty items, no matter how far back you have to go.

Ask Yourself:

What is the average amount of loving thoughts I have per hour, or per day?

What makes my love fade? What does this “fade” mean? Why did I know what this question was asking?

Should I write a list like this for every day of my life? What would the payoff be to doing that?

Am I only loving someone when I actually have the loving thoughts/feelings running through my mind? Can I be in love even when I am not having mental experiences that I label as loving?

When I am deeply sleeping–without dreams or thoughts of any sort–do I still love my loved ones? During sleep, is the “waking me” responsible and accountable for my lack of attention on my loved ones? Why do I hold myself to be responsibly attentive during the day, and then turn right around and completely abandon ALL THIS for hours every night? How does all that make sense?

Is it possible for me to love without there being an object towards which that love is projected? Can I just love the whole world without having a more specific target?

What is the difference between attention and love? When I am paying attention to something, am I loving it to at least some, however small, degree in that I am honoring it by spotlighting it with my consciousness?

What is the difference between me and my attention? Where would this “me” be in deep, dreamless, sleep? Or, in a coma?

Am I pure love? Do I just “gotta have” EVERYTHING that perception and memory and imagination bring to me? Do I just gobble life? Have I ever been a picky eater?

Do my senses have ANY off switches? Am I really built to always have this open door policy? How would I go about getting away from the office? If my nervous system were an employee of mine, would it be asking for a vacation?

How do I pay attention to attention?