Archives: IQTuneUps

Determine which kind of person you are by placing yourself in one of these three categories:

1. Safety Oriented. This person interprets most disturbances as a threat to his/her personal safety or the safety of another.

2. Self-esteem Oriented. This person interprets most disturbances as indications of his/her value to others.

3. Power Oriented. This person interprets most disturbances as a threat to his/her ability to make decisions and control his/her life.

For instance, if a person is standing near a vase that somehow falls and breaks,

1. The Safety issue person will say something like, “I could have broken my foot!” Or “This is dangerous and needs to be cleaned up before someone steps on it and gets hurt.”

2. The Self-esteem issue person will say something like, “I didn’t do it, honest.” Or “Let me help clean it up.”

3. The Power issue person will say something like, “Whom should I tell to clean this up?” or “Someone should have more carefully placed this vase on this shelf.”

Over the next week, watch the reactions of others and yourself to life through this filter/system of categorization.

Ask yourself,If I learn to step out of this typical pattern of response, will I be happier?

Is it possible for me to learn to see my life and interpret it without this “knee jerk paradigm”?

If I understand that I am seeing life through “colored glasses,” why doesn’t that end the process? How do I get to “that level” where I set these “interpretive laws” for myself?

If I try to understand others using this system, does it help me “surrender” to them more and become more compassionate about their fixations, patterns, and habitual responses? Are others so deeply ingrained with certain reactive traits that they cannot be considered completely responsible for themselves?

If someone does not see that a habitual pattern is being activated but instead thinks that the thoughts that arise have clarity as opposed to being canned responses that have been triggered, is that process a kind of innocence?

How clearly does a person have to see the depths of triggered responses before responsibility for actions is fully engaged?

Have I ever in my whole life had such clarity?

When a new situation arises, how much of myself do I show instead of “dragging out the same old trophies from the display case?”

How much of me is “now” as opposed to “then?”

(Ancient fable)

Long ago in the east, a teacher, famous for deep wisdom and having a kind heart, gave two chickens, one each, to two students, and said, “Take your chicken where no one will see, and kill it for tonight’s dinner.” The first student knew of a secluded area behind a building. He took the chicken there and killed it. The second student was gone for hours. The whole community got alarmed, for this student was thought to be the teacher’s most dedicated learner. Finally, the student returned with the chicken still alive. He came to the teacher and said, “Everywhere I go, the chicken sees.”

Ask yourself,Do I think that consciousness is different for animals than for humans? When I have an awareness of an emotion is my perception of that emotion somehow “more refined”, “better”, or “more subtle” than an animal’s? Am I better at being aware of fear and desires than animals, or, instead, do I just have different kinds, or more abstractly complex fears and desires?

Do I think that a chicken actually has consciousness? How smart does an animal have to be before it is “someone?” Do I think that ANY animal has consciousness to a significant degree? How do I explain the expressions on the faces of dogs and monkeys or the body language of cats?

If an animal has a language for emotional expression, does that affect whether I grant “consciousness status” to an animal?

Is ANY consciousness so precious that I do not want to destroy a “vessel” of it? Or, do I think that there has to be a certain amount of consciousness present before I start to “think twice about killing an animal?” What is the difference between swatting a mosquito and drowning a porpoise in a tuna net?

How much consciousness do I think an entity has to have before it is alive? Aware? Has a soul?

Can I increase consciousness? If a fantastic physician time-travels back from the year 3001 to today and magically treats me with “medicines” that increase my senses a thousand fold, so that I had eyesight better than an eagle, hearing better than a bat, a sense of taste better than a thousand French chefs, a more sensitive nose than a bloodhound, and a sense of touch better than a Times Square pickpocket, would I be more conscious or would I just have more data to be conscious of while I was using the same awareness I presently have?

If they ever build a perfect robot that looks human, acts human, and can fool other humans that it is human, would the robot be conscious?

Let an ant crawl on your arm for a while-at least five minutes.

Then for hours later observe as an occasional little stimulus from clothing will excite thoughts that you have an ant-or worse-on your body.

Ask yourself,What does this teach me about the processing of perception in general? How does my past filter, color or tweak my interpretations of perceptions?

How do I “set myself up” like this in my ordinary life? What experiences do I commonly have that affect how I feel or react to the stimuli that the thoughts and actions of others are for me?

Do I have permanent automatic reactions that I should consciously take steps towards making them voluntary, considered reactions?

Just how much are my perceptions “clouded” in this manner? Do I see anything truly, clearly, purely?

When I look into a mirror, how distorted is my image by the negative “ant thoughts” that I’ve “allowed” to crawl “on me” in the past?

If I read a lot of positive thoughts about myself and let them “crawl” how much would that affect my tendency to feel good about myself?

How many “good” thoughts would I have to have on purpose to balance all the “bad” thoughts I have ever had?

Just what is a good thought about me? If I don’t believe it, does it work anyway-or at least a little?

If I practiced having simple, easy to believe, good thoughts, how long would it take me to built myself up to think really fabulous thoughts about myself?

How much time passed before I had my first thought about “me?” Was I an infant, a toddler, older?

What kind of thoughts did I have before I thought about me? Could any of those thoughts have been negative, sinful, non-life-supporting?

Who told me I was a “me,” and what “kind” of “me” did they say I was? If I had raised myself, what would I have told myself about “me” and my potential?

Am I filled to the brim with the opinions of others about myself? Am I crawling with them?

Could I ever regain my early childhood innocence and still function as a responsible adult?

How would that feel?

Read this joke. Watch your emotions suddenly and strongly change at the very end of the joke.

Bob walks up to a woman in a bar and asks her what her glove size is. She says, “Size seven”.

The man says, “Nope” and walks to another woman, asks the same questions and hears “size six and a half”.

He again says, “Nope”. A third woman, an incredibly beautiful redhead, who has been watching this, asks the man, “Hey, my glove size is eight. Is that what you’re looking for?”

The man then smiles and says, “You’re the one I’ve been looking for!” Bob then bends near the woman and quickly whispers something in her ear. Bob and the woman then leave the bar immediately, arm in arm.

(Get ready to watch your emotions change.)

The bartender, who has seen this happen every night for a week, turns to a patron and says, “That Bob, he’s the only man I know who can use a woman’s hand size to

This joke has been left with the punch line unfinished, and the joke will never be finished. You have been duped into reading it.

Ask yourself,Do I feel I have a relationship with the author of these exercises and that trust in that relationship has been violated? Or, can this author, for the sake of helping me gain insights, trick me, lie to me, affront me, etc. with my complete permission to do so?

If I had been warned that the punch line would be unfinished, how differently would I feel now?

Why have I built up an expectation of getting the punch line? What law or rule has been violated? How is this law written within me? Who authored it? Why do I enforce it?

What is my emotional response to being denied it? Should I feel this way? Why am I manufacturing this emotion when I do not want it?

When I have a “good reason” to do so, do I like to feel this way? What is the payoff for having this sort of emotion? Is there ever a reason to feel “righteously indignant” that is 100% justifiable?

What would be the payoff if I practiced not reading the endings of a large amount of jokes or short stories?

Would practice of this sort help me become much more vigilant and aware of my emotions as they are being “born”?

Is life like this for me? Do I feel cheated? Does the meaning of life sometimes seem to be a “punch line just over the horizon?”

Who’s telling the “joke of life?”

Who’s listening to it?

What WAS the punch line to that joke?

Ultimately, am I the punch line?

Get a remote control for a television that allows you to turn up the volume.

Sit about 20 to 30 feet from the television. Place a ticking clock or other quiet sounding device within a few feet of you. If it is a device that you can also control the volume of turn it down until it is easily heard but not much more than that. Listen to the sound of the clock for five seconds and increase the volume of the television from zero to the first time you can hear the TV. Listen for five more seconds. Continue increasing the volume of the TV until you cannot hear the nearby sound source no matter how hard you try.

Ask yourself,How are my emotions like the television’s loudness?

What am I missing from my spectrum of life experiences that, like the ticking clock, are “un-hearable,” because I am attending to much “louder” input from other sources? Are they unavailable to me, because they are, indeed, too quietly manifested in my nervous system or because they are too intellectually subtle?

What would my understanding be of the phrase “emotionally subtle?”

How can I turn down the volume on certain aspects of my life or turn it up for other aspects?

Would I want to have a huge wave of happiness ALWAYS going through my nervous system? At work? In sports? While driving?

If all of life were to be seen as the loud television, what would be the equivalent quiet ticking? Is there something that is NOT “all of life?”

When I am paying attention to something that really entertains me, is there still some slight effort involved-some aspect of it that is like this experiment/task?

What is the nature of true effortlessness for me? How could I set that up for myself?

What is the quietest part of me?

Try to imagine or create an association or connection or reason for why these two words, “horse” and “volcano”, are directly related to each other. Make this association as ridiculous as you wish-it could be anything such as a story that features these two words or a mental image that involves these two things being in the same picture, or a poem you write using these words-anything that “bonds” these two words in your memory “forever.”

Your goal is to make the association “stick” and that a year from now, you will be easily able to remember this “set.” This means that if someone asks you about what other word belongs in the set with “horse,” you will immediately remember the word “volcano.”

Finally, hand a piece of paper with these two words on it to a friend, and ask the friend to ask you what the two words on the paper are-a year from now.

Ask yourself,Why am I certain that I will remember this after a year? How do I know when I have entered something into my permanent memory?

Can I use this method to connect other things that it would be beneficial for me to remember such as a person’s name being connected to their face, or a phone number with a name?

Why do I so rarely, “on purpose,” memorize items? Why, when I can consciously create a lasting and a retrievable memory of information, do I not do so and depend upon some hazy automatic process instead?

What is the long-term payoff for practicing this method?

How much could I memorize if I put my mind to it?

If someone paid me a million dollars to memorize a phone book in less than a year’s time, would I try it?

How much do I believe in my potential to learn?

Given that I have already learned a language including all its rules of grammar and how to spell 40,000 or more words almost perfectly, just where could I be a year from now?

Is there ANY limit, really, for me?

The next time you have to solve a problem, close your eyes for at least five minutes, and quietly, easily think about it.

If your mind gets off the topic, bring it easily back with a mental question that focuses on the problem or a statement that encapsulates the problem. Watch how thoughts are triggered by this process of bringing the mind back to the starting point.

Note the “side trails” your mind offers you to explore, but keep coming back to the same central problem, and in this manner, “brain storm” a list of various solutions or issues that relate to the problem.

Ask yourself,Why does my mind “follow itself” at times but not at others?

If I put my attention on something, does it become more or less complex?

What is the nature of my mind when it comes to generating new thoughts about something? What keeps my interest going and what stops it finally? How do I “get off” my topic? Where is my permission “asked for” in such matters? Who changes my mind?

If I do not actively participate in my daily manufacturing of thoughts in the above directed manner and with intent, then who really is putting my attention on different topics, and who really is deciding what I shall think about? What is the difference between the “me” that consciously decides to pay attention to something and the “me” that spontaneously hops from topic to topic?

What would be the payoff to “getting completely out of the thought business?” What would happen if I never tried to think on purpose again? Could I do this?

Why do I feel like I am the “author of my life” when I so seldom “write my thoughts on purpose?”

When I try to stop a bad habit, who is having the urge to stop and who is having the urge to continue the bad habit? How can I have a debate with myself like this?

Am I my thoughts, my “thought history,” or am I the “thought production facility,” or am I an awareness that simply watches the thoughts come?

Close your eyes, and for about 20 seconds, try to tense up every muscle in your body without stopping your breathing.

Mentally check off all the parts of your body. Start at your toes, making certain they are tensed, and move upwards, checking off each muscle group as you go. Flick downwards from time to time to make certain that the toes etc. are still tensed.

Now relax and mentally say, “There, with all this released tension, go all my worries.”

Note how you feel emotionally and physically.

Repeat this a few times.

Ask yourself,What is the connection between symbolic activity and reality? Do I actually release some stress by such methods?

What is the reason that my emotions change when physical changes occur?

Is there always a tensing up of my body when I am emotionally challenged? What would be the payoff to noting the bodily sensations I feel when I am having a strong emotion?

Do negative emotions tense me more than positive emotions?

If I experienced the emotional equivalent of winning the lottery every day, what would be the stress load on my nervous system compared to an ordinary life’s stress?

Is there such a thing as too much happiness? Is happiness dangerous to my health?

What would happen to an ordinary person if they had the following events happen to them-one day at a time: win the lottery, give birth to a child, get a new career started, attend a class reunion, meet a famous celebrity who becomes a love-at-first-sight friend, save someone’s life and thereby become a hero, invent a simple device that cures headaches instantly, and find hidden within a cave a complete ancient temple from a long lost civilization from over 10,000 years ago?

If a caveperson was suddenly transported to the future-today-what would all the wonders of life do, in terms of being stressful, to that caveperson?

How much am I like a caveperson? What is “getting to me” even with my “used to it” personality?

How can I take a vacation from “all this?”

Bring to mind one of your memories from when you were between seven and ten years of age. This should be a memory of being harmed emotionally or physically by one of your childhood playmates.

Now, rewrite that episode in your life.

Pretend that you as an adult now secretly inhabit your child-body. Now in that moment, with your adult mind, see through your young eyes. See how young and emotionally out of control the other person is. See this other person’s youth and psychological imbalance. See this person as really quite innocent to the ways of the world. Now, give-to your younger self-your adult mind’s ability to forgive naughty children.

Imagine and pretend that you find a way to resolve the situation that supports the continued friendship of both of you. See the years pass into the future and arrive in the present with you two having remained friends all this time. See that your friendship has helped this person conquer her/his personality problems to a large degree, and see yourself as having established at a very young age the practice of being “bigger” than the emotions of that remembered moment.

Spend some time doing this. Take at least five minutes-or an hour if you like.

Push it. See what happens to your memory of the event as you continually “rewrite” or “overwrite” it. See how much it takes to “brainwash” yourself. Experience the control you have over memory and discover a power you may never have suspected you have.

Ask yourself,In my daily life, should I decide to forgive or just wait for it to happen with the passage of time?

How do I feel about that episode and that playmate now? If I met this playmate now, would I joke with him/her about that episode? Would it be good if I could completely forgive this person here and now?

What would my life be like if I at least pretended during my yet-to-come challenges that I could step aside as I just now did in my memory and reach a higher place from which to act and react? Could I pretend like this even once in the future?

How was I like my playmate?

What am I still doing now in situations of conflict that is similar to what I did back then? What kinds of psychological patterns do I still have operating in my “normal personality” that were already fully operational in my youth? Do I want to be a personality with patterns that were put there before I knew the value of patterns?

Do I want to be a personality at all? Am I, in any way, something much deeper than a set of psychological patterns?

Is forgiveness more an intellectual or emotional event?

When that childhood event happened, to whom did it happen? Was that really me-the me I am now?

What do I have in common with “all” the past “me’s?”

Would I think it would be moral for me to completely erase my memories and put “better ones” in their places?

Who would the new me be like?

Take at least 30 seconds to practice each of the following “steps” in this exercise. Pretend that you have just won ten million dollars, after taxes, in the lottery-imagine your initial emotions, words, and behaviors. Really get into this with your imagination. Think about that exact moment when you find out you’ve won. Imagine your feelings at that time.

Now pretend that an hour has passed and again, imagine your emotions, actions and words.

Now pretend that you receive the money in cash a week later. Imagine yourself then. What emotions would be felt as you put the money in the bank or spent some of it immediately?

Now pretend that a year has passed and you have purchased a great many items and provided support to all your loved ones. Imagine now how you would feel after a whole year to get used to your new “status.” Imagine how would you feel when you put your attention on the fact that you had millions of dollars.

Now pretend that many years have passed and that you have grown quite used to wealth and all that you can do with it. See that it is integrated with your personality fully. You’ve made all your major purchases, you’ve got your money “placed” for investment purposes, you get a steady income from it all, and you’re living “normal” life. Now, how do you feel when you consider the fact that you have so much money?

Now pretend that money means nothing to you, and your heart is only concerned with the quiet moments between the activities of your fabulous life. Pretend that you now look back to your poorer days and consider the amount of quiet time you are experiencing right now compared to back then. Think about the exact feelings you might have during the quiet times now and the quiet times during your poorer days.

Ask yourself,What can I enjoy right now in my life that is rare in other lifestyles?

How can I develop a habit of appreciation of “what is” as opposed to the habit of being more conscious of what “could be”?

What parts of “me” would not change over the years no matter how much wealth I obtain? Why are these parts “unchangeable”?

How do my values in life evolve? What can I do to guide this process? How would I know what to cling to and what to “work on?”

How do I change my feelings about myself as I imagine myself with more money? Is there a “core person” that I recognize within that deserves a certain value irrespective of my possessions, my accomplishments, or my status in the eyes of others? How often am I aware of this aspect of my life?

Do I have anyone else in life that can see this core person that I truly am?